Sometimes…
Starting a blog may be too much responsibility for me right now but, randomly if, i would like to write, Tumblr always inspires me.
Recently things are not going so well…
What’s the point of having beautiful clothes when you dont even have the right body to clothe it with.
Tummy tuck, liposuction, nose job, liposuction, fats reduction of some kind. Making me wish so bad that i was anorexic of some sort.
Bla bla bla, inside is what makes you beautiful…beg to differ. I dont feel pretty anymore, my body has never looked so bad before, maybe i am losing myself.
Constant fight with being beautiful. If i cant please myself how can i garuntee that anyone will ever think if beautiful.
I cant stand it when people tell me that I am okay and im just over reacting. OH bitch please, I bet you never felt so horrible. I bet nobody teased you for being overweight. Did your crush joke about your weight? No, you skinny bitch. I refuse to admit that this is one of karma’s finest work. But sometimes it really just sucks you know.
“All it takes is one wrong person in your life to destroy the confidence you have been building in yourself. Then, you’re just back to square one again.”
- as quoted by me.
Constant battle. It had yet to put me in tears but i can feel words crippling my confidence as this continues. Maybe one day I’ll just stop with the food craze and just go into starvation mode. Right now, I’m starting with 3 meals no snacks. 3 healthy meals. Doubt this will do any work. The tummy’s growing everyday. Oh just kill me already. I hate being so….UGLY.
I am ranting so much yet everything i say it really does come from the heart and i do indeed really feel so hurt inside. Just, somebody, help me, tell me how am I suppose to gain back my confidence that i took, what felt like eternity to make me who I am today.
Stupid fake tummy, smile, all tuck under that piece of cloth. I detest so much the time I gave up living the healthy life style every kid had. I detest anything that has to lead me to this horrendous body. I hate it, it hurts so bad knowing you’ll never be skinny enough or have the right shade of skin at the places you want. The heigh, the skin on the face, it never goes right. I hate myself and I want to cry. I hate this. Urgh!
Wow who know, tummy could have gotten bigger as i typed this. Urgh.
Why did i have to dwell so much in laziness.
